So much to Understand

Sai Baba's darshan is like being at a BIG BAND concert...after spending two weeks at a solo recital. You queue up for 3 hours, women and men separate. They sit you in horizontal lines, and the person in front gets to choose a number, a lottery....this decides your fate...how close you sit to G-d. Both darshans I was number 9....apparently Sai's number, but not in front...more like a side view. Inside it is the size of a football pitch...the colours are pastels and gold with jewels...hundreds not thousands, sit cross legged for 2 hours before he arrives and then almost 2 hrs while he is inside the 'bajan' hall...by the time you get up, you look like you have rickets...I was so uncomfortable, even the meditation couldn't relieve me from my lower back pain. I don't know what I thought...it is something you can't explain....men all in white and the women in opulent saris....and there are as many westerners as Indians....and so many Russians, I felt like I was on a bus in London returning from Moscow!! I could hardly concentrate, I was so busy looking at everything...everyone seemed to know all the words of the songs...I joined in when I heard OM..everyone fan's themselves with plastic ping pong bats....well that's what they look like. When Sai enters it is like the stampede of the crazed women...all pushing and shoving to get God light ...I wasn't sure about this..Kiara and I went to eat in Western kitchen with some Italians...I commented that there seemed to be loads of lapsed Catholics here...where were the Jews? A gorgeous vivacious Argentinian lady...said "My dear no need to look far, there are lots of us Cohens inside." She had been living in California, and came to the Ashram and now lives here permanently. She has a son and daughter but added "They are not mine, I just gave birth to them...we let go of attatchment" I am still struggling with that concept...I know when I get it my worries and anxieties are over! Kiara and I went back home and talked about her revelation re Sai...it was facinating, she is quite amazing for her 34 years and has written a book called the Divine Family....she calls me sister, I really like her. I have had the best massage for $10 this morning....every knot has been untied....then dare I say it, I had a gobi manchurian for lunch...and my stomach is still keeping it together. I have had a coffee with Walter and Jean...and Walter and I may go to Kerala and Ammachie's ashram together....we will meet after Darshan and talk more about it. Have to quickly go home now and change, because my trousers are 3/4 length and you can't show a bit of leg.....Sai a ram....keep you posted x

Ashram hopping

So we had our final meal at 'Mother's' said our goodbyes...and 5 adults...3 with big arses...did I say mine was big....all piled into one little tuk tuk to pick up our luggage from the hotel and leave for Puttaparthi. Didn't realise 2 Spaniards were also sharing the taxi....less money for all of us. This particular tuk tuk had bhangra rap blarring from a speaker, and we all were shouting yo guru mother meera....which was the release after having had a completely silent meal. I was being told off constantly, as I sat next to Nicholas the Zimbabwe guy...and we were comparing idly ( a rice thing!) to Sudza...(an African thing!)...We were finally on our way 10. 30 pm....was this road for real...I have never been through so many potholes...the trees were amazing, sometimes we were travelling through avenues of trees like you do in France....but the roads were the worst I have ever experienced. So I had a bumpy silent trip...Italian being spoken in the front and Spanish being spoken in the back, and a driver that kept on touching the Italian girl's leg when he changed gear! We arrived in Puttaparthi....I can't tell you what I thought, it was dark, there was still garbage around, but there were huge posters of Sai Baba everywhere. We dropped off the 3 others and Kiara had invited me to stay at her place for the night. She lived just outside the city in the Indian area...what does that mean we ARE IN INDIA...anyway where no westerners stayed. Climbed up the stairs and it was magic, a palm tree in the middle of the building with thousands of birds in it and chirping away"welcome my dears to Puttaparthi"......her flat was pretty basic, she gave me a thin mattress, a thin blanket and a thin sheet......lit a joss stick and said goodnight. I woke up early and squatted a la Indian style...when she woke up she gave me a towel for my cold shower and made me coffee. "If you want to stay here till I go to Sri Lanka on the 3rd you are more than welcome, the flat is free"..."free?'' "yes of course everything is virtually free when you are with Baba". "Ok thanks" I was going with the flow......we got ready and walked to town...after having dropped our washing at the nearbly laundrette ( 5 Indians and 5 Buckets)....It was like going to Disneyworld....Huge coloured buildings, the music school had giant instrument sculptures outside....lots of spiritual signposts DESIRE PLUS LIFE IS MAN..LIFE MINUS DESIRE IS GOD....I was walking around completely spaced out, slightly gobsmacked..Mandanaplli....had mosquitos and chai shops......The walled city within the city is the Ashram.....she stopped to buy a flower, no 2, one for me and one for her to give to Ganesh...as you enter the gates. The ashram is huge, the chances of meeting someone you know as you walk through the gates is rare.....but there was the Canadian woman who came with me to Rishi Valley and she was off to meet Hernan my Argentinian friend.....WHHHHHHAAAAAAT.....this is crazy...I was told nothing is crazy when you are with the divine. I told her I would come and find them in Blue Lagoon after Kiara had showed me around. It is a bit like arriving in heaven....lots of people in white all going somewhere...lots of silence....lots of people sitting on the grass reading...the Southern Indian canteen , the Northern Indian canteen and the Western canteen...where we would eat tonight. I then went to find 'my buddies'...oh to see their smiles...we laughed, we drank lemon juice and we went back to Jean's 'western apartment'...quite fancy compared to Kiara's....the sexual tension between me and Hernan was as before....but it was really lovely to see him. They both asked me how long I would stay, and when I replied 3 days, they laughed and said "ok you will see...here in this place you cannot make plans"....Divine Intervention. Now I am off to darshan with Baba......thousands of people will be queing for 3 hours...woman are separated from men........this all feels like a movie...I will let you know which part I play!

I will leave you with a few photos of Mandanapalli

Moving on moving up

Ok it is official they want me back in June....I said thankyou and that the seed has been planted...Adilakshmi (the President) added "May it grow"....we have just had our final party lunch before last darshan....first time I have really had delicious food, sweet potatoe and rice with grapes....the rest was spicy with nuts and seeds. I will pack my bag have darshan and leave for Puttaparthi with the Italians. I leave having taught the kids some vital English...it went like this me "ring ring.....hello is that 222222?" the kids "No Aunty this is double two double two double two !" and old Zimbabwian joke...they love it!!! No one has talked about the bombings...I have managed to watch TV in my luxury coakroach pit...with two wash buckets not one...actually the coakroaches went walk about after the first day. I am ready to move on, yet sad, it has been and intense but very positive experience.

It is all in the water

So I am at the ashram early and in shock at what has been happening in Mumbai....and the reply I get is "Not half as bad as the trouble we are going through here.....every child has peed his pants last night in bed!" They do not listen to the news...bad things happen all the time and we must continue to pray to the Divine. As Ma is the embodiment of Divine, Adilakshmi is the President...I am summoned to her. " Ma is very happy with you, you have a way with the children and you wish to return in June." I never said that! I get a look from some of the devotees, I have been chosen, given an opportunity and I shake my head not sure about anything. I tell her I will be in touch. Yesterday a woman phoned from Tamil Nadu to say they have had no rain......Mother speaks to her and no sooner has she put done the phone when the woman rings again and says, "Oh thankyou, the rain has begun".....and boy did it 'begin' from Tamil Nadu right over to Andra Pradesh and it hasn't stopped. You would think rain is a phenomena...school was cancelled even though they had their last exam to do. So I read stories, acted for them and generally entertained in ENGLISH....they want me to stay....I do adore them but could I honestly last for 3 months when the devotees and Mother are travelling around the world? I think I will go mad...but I will be THIN......THIN and MAD....I don't think so.....but being a single woman with no children....I could have 9 just like that!
the name AUNTY peels through the air ......what happens if this is my last chance of divine intervention......tonight I will pray for the decision to be out of my hands. Tomorrow is the last darshan and the big party...then off to Puttaparthy!!!!

I am over the Gobi Manchurian

It had to happen...I am over the gobi manchurian or looking at the toilet it is more over me!! After Darshan....the Polish man said because I was feeling ill he would like to offer me a ginger tea and a hot shower.....is that the same as immodium.?...I thanked him and hailed the tuk tuk. There were two people and I invited them to share my taxi if they were staying at Ananda Lodge. They were Italian...they hopped in and said do I mind if we make a few stops. After my awful Italian lodger, I decided I already didn't ike them...(how generous and enlightened I am when I am ill!!!!) I offer them a lift and they make the 15min journey 50min!!! We stop at every chemist, not telling me why...I presume condoms because they are not ill but they are DESPERATE...anyway it turns out they have seen a dog covered in fleas and they want some powder.. They have both been living at Sai Baba's ashram for 2 years and had come down for a few days. I told them I was planning to go there after the last darshan...which is the 28th and the night Mother is hosting a farewell party. They said if they stay, I would be welcome to share a taxi with them to Puttaparthi and I could stay in their apartment until the next morning, when they would then take me to the Ashram......I love Italians.....one tuk tuk journey and my opinion has changed completely.....I now want to help the flea riddened dog as well!

Pooh for you and Pee for Me

Can't bear it I have become obsessed with the pissing and shitting in the street...am I too anal or what!! Walking down my favourite street this morning and not one but 3 people shitting in the road, I mean I have heard of the expression "Don't shit on your own doorstep" but this is ridiculous. Thought of ways to deal with this...like the pooper scoop maybe they can buy bags with their very own SHAT MATS.....or.......CRAP AND SCRAPS or....CRAP TRAPS......you daren't take your shoes off...you are liable to get Pee Tree disease.....my other obsessin in more palatable....Gobi Manchurian.....certainly not a Chinaman with a big mouth...but deep fried cauliflour in some red chilly sauce.....I have had it about 4 times and now I am on the quest for the best!! Yesterday I even asked if I could go to the kitchen and watch the chef make it....not as simple as I thought, but we can get most of the ingredients in London so pop over for a Manchurian when I get back..maybe our version can be called a Gobby Mancunian! Darshan last night saw new visitors from Chile, Brazil, Argentina and Columbia ( always facinated how they have heard of her!). I went out with the Czech man....for street gobi manchurian.....and today I have the runs again....Immodium I hear you say...and the advice from the Indians is drink fresh coconut water....but what do they care the road poopers!! So I have had 2 immodiums, two coconuts and I'm here at the internet cafe....and another thing why do they spit and chrach (deep noises from throat to nose and back again) so much!!!!!! I am here trying to concentrate and all I can hear is people chobbing!!!(spitting).....please don't be put off you can always stay at the TAJ....

There are beautiful faces everywhere

Today I am a little sad...all the Putta-parties have gone back to Sai Baba's ashram...his birthday is over and they hope that the tourists have left. I was on my way to give my art class and I saw Hernan (the Argentinian) actross the road with his bag...he was also leaving. He came over to say goodbye..."Great so you were leaving without even saying goodbye" I said....he looked at me and said if you knew how many times I have walked this road hoping to see you and now just as I am catching the bus there you are!... We exchanged emails and numbers and he told me where to find him if I come to Sai....." I have a confession to make" he said....and I thought ok here we go I have a wife and 10 children....." I really want to sleep with you...so I must go" "yes you must ..goodbye and good luck" I replied. I felt like I had lost someone again...I stopped for a chai and thought about it, I was glad he was gone, I was spending too much time with him, this is not why I am here. Depression lasted for all of 10 minutes, and then I thought about the children and the class. It was a great success...the pods look beautiful, actually very aboriginal. Ma came to see them! I am lucky that this is my savour, the others are painting and decorating ( I have done enough of that!) . We all have to work in silence unless it is to do with work..... I read one of her books again...she is so practical. Her words of wisdom and advice are clear...you must have faith, practise detachment and pray. You may practise any religion you wish (this is all man made) do whatever practise you desire, ask for what you want....but true enlightment for the earth will only be when there is no religion, no colour, no rich, no poor.....when all is one. So with my buddies having left town I have six days to get the most out of this experience....I have just eaten the most divine, sweet papaya.....walked down new roads...have decided to have something made down RR Road..(Oxford Street) and if it is one thing I would like to change is these bloody people pissing in the streets....India the land of Sun, Sand and PEE......

WHEN IN INDIA GOTTA PLAY THE GAME
HELLO AUNTY WHAT'S YOUR NAME, WHAT'S YOUR NAME, WHAT'S YOUR NAME
EK DO TI CHAR PUNCH IF YOU WANT TO BE HEALTHY STICK TO RICE FOR LUNCH
I'M AN M AND M GIRL M FOR MEERA
ACCEPT THE LIGHT YOU'LL SEE ALOT CLEARER......

My morning has been ridiculous!!!!!!

It is Sunday, most of the shops are closed, but my breakfast stand is up and running so I go for the usual and then proceed to take a different route for a little walk. I hear music from a bandstand and walk into a huge cadet parade of teenagers in uniform... with Generals and Indian officers on stage. I take out my camera and some army person, beckons me over to take photos from the stage . I shake my head but he insists...suddenly they put a chair next to the woman general who looks very stylish in her army shirt, army cap and army coloured sari! They ask me to write my name and where I come from on a piece of paper..They are talking in Telgu....the General tells me I am next...."what do you mean?" I say. She says "just make a speech on what you see and how they look"....Inside I am hysterical, how has this happened I was just walking past!!!! Anyway before I know it I am in front of a microphne and I am thanking them and telling them that discipline will stand them in good stead...and as long as they focus on life etc etc....TG I went to bloody Drama School, talk about improvisation!!! I am applauded and take my seat back with the Generals of the Indian Army. Now there is some dancing depicting the Gods...and then I am invited for breakfast. (But I have just had breakfast....you see you can get fat in India!!!!!) They will not except refusal, so I am off to the dining hall THE GUEST OF HONOUR......THE SURPRISED GUEST.....the cadets salute me....(I am pissing myself inside).....SO I eat what tastes like a SA koeksuster...very sweet and then have rice and vegetables, so no lunch for me! And what do you know the official photographer asks me why I am here and I tell him MM's Ashram and he says his sister is Mangelou the carer....6 degrees of separation I know her well. In fact only last night I had suggested that I would take the kids for an art class...what a number, first I had to ask Francois, then Mangelou, then Adalakshmi, (Ma's Aunty) they would refer to Mother, and let me know. I also had to tell them what I was teaching and what materials I was using. I had been told off for taking photos of the kids...you may do nothing without asking Ma's permission, it is all about privacy and protection, and I respect that....but the laws are strict. She has asked us not to give beggars money or food, she doesn't want the Ashram to be associated with that. The other day I went inside without taking off my shoes and got into trouble....I was showing no respect and felt bad, but I just didn't realise! NO EXCUSE! In fact every day the kid's get food in a lunch box and get told off if they do no finish everything...they have to appreciate what they receive....SO I have collected those long pods from the trees ( the one's we used to get in Zim, when you shake them, the sound is like a rattle) and we are going to paint designs on them...I would love to teach them an African song, but I would have to run that by mother, and I can't be arsed.....(Michelle, that is not a good attitude) but I can't really! Last night I walked the streets with my Argentinian friend, we went to the Moslem area for the best juice....pomegranate, and two types of oranges - all freshly squeezed...then we did the coffee/chai circuit.....there is a huge sexual buzz going on between us....but I have told him that for 2 weeks I want to be 'pure' no smoking, no alchohol, no sex.....not too much to ask for.....so we just talk, walk arm in arm, laugh a lot and have a big hug before we go opposite directions to our hotels.......how wonderful to be in control without any effort!!! I am lying I would love a cigarette over a shag right now!

A couple of interesting signs around Mandanapalle and walking through the market I couldn't believe how her colours matched the pink onions !

I am in Lurve with everyone and everthing

I s this what happens after 6 darshans (blessings) .. I seem to love everyone suddenly!...last night after darshan, this 'gorgeous' Argentinian, came straight up to me and said you are so brightly radiating...no-one speaks English berry well...I can't even spell anymore...I said thankyou...and we walked along the road for hours stopping at different tea stalls...him smoking, me sniffing the smoke....still not doing it but my skin is looking like a hide, I thought I was mean't to de-age not look like an achneed youth...we talked about life, present and past...everyone here has some 'crisis' in their life...his father was in the military and expected him to follow and he couldn't cope...and had a crisis, I thinks it means a breakdown..took a lot of drugs and then saw Baba in a dream....they all see baba in a dream...who cares they all seem to be saved now. Mother had a crisis too and left darshan suddenly...I think it was DIVINE DIARRHEA...she IS in a human body. Some people felt very cheated, they had travelled a long way to see her. When...G-d has to go G-d has to go!...her Aunty returned to say she was not well. Had a beautiful day and went with some 'new friends' to Rishi Valley...I had taken a pill called a Zombie from an Indian chemist, and it cured my stomach pains. You can get anything from the chemist and you only have to buy one pill at a time R5 for one ! Rishi Valley had these amazing Bunyan Trees and we sat and meditated and read scriptues and pages of philosophy....it felt so wonderfully old fashioned......we had lunch at the school...they are all so brilliantly behaved...and the colonial signs are still around "THE TUCK SHOP", I will add photos when it gets easier! I am still taking the children to school everyday, and today again we were blessed by mother and I got a sweet...see what a good girl I am!! Now I have to rush to the Ganesh restaurant for Lunch to meet my new friends, the Columbians and an English girl, and later the Argentinian boy.....not spending enough time by myself me thinks....but I am meditating a lot....xx

Spoken too soon

I have divine cramps and divine runs.....so am back in my room after having taken the kids to school. I am looking at Bangalore TIME OUT the newest film to come out of Bollywood is 'Dostana' quote the first big budget queer themed romantic comedy...boys holding hands everywhere, surely they can't all be 'happy'.......Tomorrow if I am well I have been invited to Rishi Valley, where it is supposed to be beautiful and has a designer school that are doing something with their garbage, and there is heaps and heaps around and also they serve a wonderful lunch. More and more people are arriving for darshan...last night some very designer men, in white with little ponytails descended and gorgeous western women from Sai Baba swanned in.....when asked where they live they all said India is my home....I met a Japanese Brazilian...domo obrigado....and his friend from BULAWAYO ZIMBABWE....we both couldn't believe it, but he went to Hillside School and then Carmel, although he isn't Jewish...he thought I may know his mother, he is 36.....thanks his mother is 60!!! Both boys live at Ammachi in Kerala...so he left Mugabe the bugger and opted for Ammachi the hugging mother!

Whew I see some light

Ok deep breath today I have lift off.....Last night I walked with a Sweedish woman from my lodge to the Ashram....she has lived at Sai Babba's ashram for 4 years...how do they do it!  She reckons the reason I have been refused savor (voluntary work) is that I shouldn't be working but need to go inside myself more....I prefer that to having no patience. After Darshan which was wonderful..(I cannot believe how the chidren sit in silence with their straight backs for 2hrs...one divine child is only 4 years old.) I went for dinner with Walter...we went western...which was tasteless..I ordered veggie bajji and it was a bun with fried onions....He told me how Sai saved his life...he had tried to committ suicide...and his whole live has changed....whatever it takes I say. I then went home and sat in foyer with a man from Prague..who had also been at Darshan....and I got hysterical as he described to me his feelings when he arrived in this place....it could have been me....the 'Checks' are on an ashram crawl. TODAY I HAD LIFT OFF....I happened to wake up early and walked to the ashram through a beautiful road of houses painted in bright colours The kids were ready to go to school and Francois asked me whether I wanted to walk them to school. Just before we left we were called into Mother's room......she wanted to bless the kids and those that were taking them to school....thousands cue up for this and today only me, Francois and the Kids, went to MA'S ROOM....I got the same chocolate they got from her....I felt blessed....Came back and spent the morning painting windows...then went for a fabulous lunch with 2 Columbians and2 Americans and an English woman who has lived here for 5 years and was born down the Bello, her Dad ran a pub on the corner of Latimer Road...so home from home.......Now I am having a blissful time........

Lots of Opportunities in Andra Pradesh

Everything is perfect...I have just set up a new business and am living here forever....NOT!

The Lesson is Patience

So I get there this morning to help prepare the food, on the dot 9.30am and they tell me sorry it has already been prepared....I CAN'T BELIEVE IT......I ask whether there is anything I can do and they say wash the dishes which takes all of 3 minutes. Then I ask whether I can work with the others and they say my clothes are not right. There is a wierdo from West Virginia called Annette...she has lived in India for 3 years and also has the wrong clothes so we leave together to go shopping. In the tuk tuk I tell her my story...she smiles and says "honey ewe betta ax ept this...jus geev in, you must learn PATIENCE without remores" I know she is right.....not easy for me but I am staying for the lesson....
The dirt is become bearable...I am finding places to eat and have just entered an amazing vegetale market......tonight 3rd Darshan....thanks for those of you who have offered advice by email....it just takes so long to get on line that it is easier just to write the blog.xx and yes you now can comment on the blog didn't realise I had blocked it.
From Rich to Poor
Bangalore no more
elation, deprivation, anihilation, constipation
Mandanapalli you serve
What I obviously deserve
But I'll get there in the end
Let go of ego with the bends
And only leave when I am through
Receive what's due when loving you

Can I last at the Ashram

I am at the mercy of the GODS! I get there for 4.30 to help the kids with homework and Lawrence informs they must bath and get ready for Darshan.....I take a deep breath and leave....Outside the ashram I first try and talk to a woman who is walking next to me...and am met with "Please not now this is not the right time!" I then meet and Austrian who had just left Sai Babba's ashram because it is his birthday this week and thousands of tourists are invading the place. Someone told him about mother and he has decided to come here for a week. We go in at about 5.30 and wait in the hall...I am trying to be calmer and more positive. Darshan is great, and I feel a little lighter. As I leave I ask Lawrence if I can do anything, and he says be here for 9am to work in the kitchen. On my way home I stop at a temple, who knows what they are worshipping but it beautiful with candles and lotus flowers. I go in and see a man who I have seen before at Mother's. I sit beside him and we watch the festival. When I leave he comes out with me asks me if I fancy cofee. He is from Poland but has the Indian name of Yashek..(I think..although now that sounds a bit E European)....he has been in an ashram in the North for 2 months, and now is here for 2 weeks and then goes to another Ashram in Tamil Naidu for 2 months....and all this to, yes wait for it TO FIND HIMSELF....At coffee I entertain the kids, with my now counting up to 5 in Hindi and doing my fake neck rotations...at one point even the policeman is copying me...Yashek who is very serious breaks out in a laugh....I tell you it is hard to make these devotees smile they are all so serious. He asks me why I am here, and I am not sure, A bit of spiritual, a bit of art and a bit of health I say...typical me, not to focus on one thing, I want it all. He takes me to  a nearby hotel walking distance from the Ashram...and the first person I meet is the woman, who wouldn't talk to me and then the Austrian, who is having a conversation " We are all god so is Hitler...even I can't hate him!"....I decide I want to be as far away from the Ashram and these devotees as possible,. I will remain in town on my own...I am starting to love it there.

I Find FOOD

I had to get out of the internet box...not a cafe....cos the owner with the gammy leg....decided to feel mine instead. Honestly the cheek.....I was struggling to upload photos, it just doesn't happen in Mandanapalli.....so I called him, by this time he had bought me a cake and a cup of chai cos I was there so long...anyway "please help me this thing is driving me crazy"...."ok madam"....one hand on the mouse and one hand on the spouse!!!! what are you doing I cried....did he feel my leg thinking ah this would be a nice one in exchange for his!!! "give me a hug" he said....'do you think I'm a mug' I replied.......I left although he shoved a piece of paper with his name on it and asked me when would I return. But guess what on the way home I found FOOD....at the garden restaurant...there were 3 Westeners there, I recognized them from last night's darshan....I smiled.... they ignored....fok them.....I came for what I was looking for some VEGETABLES....although as I ate my caulifour and rice..... the mosquitos ate me! I guess we all have to eat...the morning has a bit more light...quick shower and off to the ashram to help with homework.

I'm not sure about it all

Ok so I'm still feeling very strange about all this! I go back to the ashram at 2 and get met by a guy called Lawrence...I tell him I'm coming to work with the kids...he misunderstands me..and tells me to go, I aks him whether I can't sit and wait and he says NO GO..and I cry....what is going on!!!! ii come back at 3pm, no one is very friendly, but I find a French woman who is helping the kids paint and i just join in.....Francois comes to apologise and says he didn't realise that I was offering service. I stay there till darshan......I realise that there are people staying at the ahsram, and that is the only way to get the benefit from this experience...morning meditation etc....there is no room for me apparently. So I get a tuk tuk back to my undesirable room...I am starving, only had one dosa all day...one stand after another looks filthy, but I am so hungry that I sit on a bit of newspaper, cry again and order some rice . ...and expect to vomit!...if I don't, then at leastI can eat there tomorrow! I cannot leave this place yet, I am being tested......I will go to the Ashram to help the kids with their homework at 4.30. and then stay for darshan....try and get something positive out of it..I am feeling too sorry for myself.....

It's the best hotel I could find

Ok I like prison....this is a test to see if I can survive with nothing.....I slept, put citronella on the pillow...just in case the roaches didn't like the smell..but the BANGING and the water dripping, what do these Indians do at night. I got up had a wash with my bucket....and walked into the street to find breakfast....I had had a fried egg pancake {dosa}. I also inherited a boy called Keiran....who walked me to Mother Meera Ashram. There she was giving sweets to the children...I bowed and said goodmorning, found Tony who was doing some building work and he said maybe I could teach art right NOW....NOW? give me an hour or two to just process this!!! so here I am in the cafe...going back to my room to lather myself with mosquito cream, they attacked me at the ashram and going back for 2 to teach what!! give me inspiration from somewhere. I will be adding photos, when I find a place to add them to disc....I feel very disorientated.....

Again it's chaparty, and i'LL CRY IF i WANTO

I REALLY WANT TO CRY...i GUESS THAT IS PART OF TRAVELLING, IT HAS TAKEN 4 HOURS ON POT HOLE ROADS...TO GET TO MANDANAPALLE...OY IT IS WAY OUT THERE...THE HOTEL- NO SHOWERES ONLY BUCKETS...HOT WATER OR WARM WATER FROM 5AM TO 11...WELL WE WILL FIND OUT TOMORROW. i AM SHARING THE BED WITH A COCKROACH...AND i COULD DIE...THE INTERNET CAFE IS ACROSS THE ROAD AND THE LETTERS ARE OUT OF CONTROL...DON'T KNOW WHEN THEY ARE CAPITALS OR SMALL ONES! i HAVE NOT SEEN A WESTENER...IT IS SO DARKEST DEEPEST iNDIA, i THINK i AM A BIT SCARED AND NOT SURE WHETHER i CAN LAST MORE THAN 2 DAYS...SPEAK AFTER dARSHAN....

Thursday Bangalore!

Compliments from the Host! This morning I had my own private theraputic yoga instructor....my feet are still very swollen from the flight....and I am not smoking! Anyway he took an accupuncture reading...and was extremely accu-rate - and proceeded to deep breathe me...the morning had started so well, but I was running late, and from then onwards everything got more and more frustrating! The traffic is/was so bad, I couldn't get anywhere on time....but I still managed to meet Nita at 'Airlines'. A restaurant that has been there for 50 years. Looks like a government building and you can either eat outside or in your car, that saves a bit of washing up! Then she was dropping me off at Bambi with her car and her driver and 'my driver' was following behind, but he did a wrong turn and was never to be found again....it was not going smoothly..I had lost a traveller's cheque and had to copy various documents but the electric CITY was down so misson not accomplished.....by the time we got to Bambi it was so late.. but she then took me off to Commercial Road because I said I wanted my ring re plated( that took another 2 hrs.)..but facinating a little old man sitting on the pavement took my ring...put it in what looked like different glasses of water, the last one having a wire connected to a battery in it. This mean't my ring would be 'electric gold plated' but it would only last for 2 months which was reflected in the price R50 = 80p...worth every rupee! I think I got home at 7.30 just wanted to go to bed, but then Ramesh phoned and said get ready we are going to the club...THE BANGALORE CLUB! Now recently the Minister of Karnatake banned all clubs and all discoteques and all dancing...so the only way you can party is to belong to a private club......It is huge, has a cinema, a shopping centre, a gym and an outdoor restaurant and dance floor. Anyone who is ANYWHO apparently goes there...so being anywho..... It reminded me so much fo the Victoria Falls hotel in Zimbabwe, the colonial architecture and the sort of ambience you used to find there. It definitely didn't feel like Europe!. The conversations! "So where is Sinita...American of course!" "Don't forget our game of golf tomorrow - I should be back from Mumbai at lunchtime" So modern India feels very middleclass...I hope it doesn't do away with the man who does the gold plating...it makes coming here still worth it!

If it's Thursday it must be Bangalore

Bangalore how the other half live and all!

You have heard of city of gods, well apparently Bangalore mean's city of beans....now why is that....perhaps since my experience from the airport, that cars drive so close to the other car's bottom that they then need to let off.steam and fart and hoot non stop...unlikely.!!..but I certainly haven't seen a bean since I arrived..It was a long flight, a long wait in Mumbai but I first got picked up by a pilot from Chennai, who gave me his card and said if I get to Chennai he will put me in the right direction...whatever that means. Then I got chatted up by a cuban who gave me his card and invited me for a drink in Bangalore...already have lost it, so no cigars for me....then out of the plane got chatted up by a Bangalorian who invited me for dinner and I asked him to get me a taxi instead...and so I was on my way to my first port of call.
OH MY GOD....did I book into the Taj! What a place I am staying in, the family have built a huge marble house with separate flats including lifts for Dad and the 2 brothers and their families. I have my own suite and designer bathroom, with 2 showers, big double bed and a view of the cow in the yard. Time for a quick shower and off to "Auntie" for dinner. Food forever...prawns, chicken, breads and on and on. In true colonial style I was offered a gin and tonic as I came through the door. They all spoke English, and one cousin is married to rather large New Yorker, who now sports a sari, a dot, and talks with an Indian accent...."Howdy Memsab"....they were charming and v cultured. All gave me advice on where to go after Andra Pradesh....now vot tekes you to Mandanapalli? you will have to return to Bangalore for a rest after all that spiritual stuff! Acutally the 83year old Dad Shaum, is quite remarkalble...still working as a doctor, a follower of Sai Babba...asked me all questions about Meera, why I meditate etc and said it will be very good for the soul!. I slept well had breakfast with him this morning, scrambled eggs Indian syle(lots of chilli) then I met Bambi the dress designer daughter, had lunch in one of the son's flats, and now I am off with the servant Prakesh to the shops and get a sim card, they don't want me to get lost, so I have to take him with me to ensure I have safe return. Tonight I am going with Ramesh to a Bollywood movie....not in English! So all is good...tomorrow I am hanging out with the women, going to Indian designer shops...us girls are all the same all the world over. Namaste
PS. Haven't had a cigarette yet! already put on 10 kilos!!!!

Traffic in the Garden City

Well this is the last before I leave tomorrow.

Just thought I'd post some pics of Bangalore's traffic jams....I think I'll walk!

Wait for all good things to come

OK so he's got me on a flight but I have

to wait in Mumbai for 7hrs!!

It's Chipatti and I'll cry i I want to

Eg do ti this is Hindu not Urdu

Mumbai airport find a bench or some floor

7 bloody hrs till I go to Bangalore!!

Just making sure I have the right outfit
for the plane!

This is AP (Andra pradesh)

How cool is this! checking google images

for Mandanapalle and this was a photo of the

turn off to the village while Mother Meera

welcomes me with her gracious smile!

Sugar fix...another cake...another tea....one more coffee....kiss kiss...travel safe....lucky cow miss the winter....people breeze in people breeze out.... conversations Obama, X factor, Credit Crunch....,more cake more tea...getting closer....one more day....2 more nights....really tired....got to go to my own bed with satin sheets and double duvet....sleep sleep....there is still lots to do.....tomorrow tomorrow....to morr hmmmmm zzzzzzzzzzz

LIfe is only theatre

Ok so I'm sitting in the theatre...watching the play...that I was cast in and then was uncast....which finally made me say 'That is It! F..K acting.'...my phone is on silent but my pocket is vibrating, and has a life of it's own! It's the Travel Agent...I'm sure you said December... anyway I will sort it out on Monday.....don't worry.....SO I'M NOT WORRIED....the play wasn't very good, not sour grapes or anything...bumped into another director in the foyer who was a mate of the director of the play ...and he said..."Why didn't you play the lead, you would have been perfect...I will mention it to ....." I couldn't tell him I'd got it and then ungot it...and thought yeah let them talk! Meantime Ingrid knew the producer and said "you made a big mistake not casting Michelle."..love it...as long as they talk about you, you're still in the LOOP!....Is there something for me in Bollywood.....The white woman who married the Sadu and lived by the Ganges.....(no that sounds like a washing powder commercial!) ....oh well just a thought!!!

OH my god...just seen that the travel agent has booked me to Bangalore in December not NOvember.....and I can't get hold of him!!!

Rings on my ears, Rings on my nose
When I'm India anything goes

thanks Dustin.....while frying eggs a line of inspiration!

Great news!  I have just had an email from Ramesh to say I can stay with them in Bangalore. When Jayne and I went to, then Bombay in 19voetsak!( for those that can't speak Afrikaans, it means it is so long ago I can't remember sort of.)..anyway her Dad was at medical school with his Dad and Ramesh then 20 years old, picked us up from the airport at 1am and drove us all over the city. I had just seen the film 'Salam Bombay' and recognized some of the areas like the red light district, woman of the night in exotic saris and young boys delivering chai. It was so exciting. Ramesh now 42, married with kids lives in Bangalore. Bangalore (Karnatake) is 3 hrs by cab to  Mandanapalle, Andra Pradesh. I am staying with them for a few days and then will head north. When I tried to book somewhere in Mandanapalle no one spoke English....Telgu  isn't my speciality! So he has sorted that out and I'm staying at Ananda Hotel for a costly £7.00 a night....don't think it will break the bank and great for the credit crunch! Will check out Bangalore the land of IT....so ....Hello Lady buy from me

Karnatake Jewellery

You pay me 10 Rupee

don't say no

Very Cheapie!

3 days left before I go

Actually I haven't left yet so I cram in as much of London!  Can't wait to venture into oblivion yet I am determined to be exhausted when I get on that plane. I've packed my bags at least 3 times...keep on looking at my new case which is the right size for 23kilos and it looks like a bag that is going for the weekend to Manchester....how can I possibly be taking such a small bag for 4 months....clothes for Mandanapalle, which must be conservative. A spiritual place where covered arms are required, and lots of whites to help reach enlightenment quicker....then clothes for the 3 more weeks where I don't know where I am going. Will it be yoga in Mysore, temples in Tamil Nadu or bikinis in Kerala.... My last 3 days....down Portobello with Alfi, a 'Friday Night dinner' at Eli and Tali....check out the new shopping centre in Shepherds Bush with Mary Louise...the theatre with the Zippers..Sunday Organic market....friends and family popping in for tea....re pack....check the list....movie with Bettina....breakfast with Richard....photostat the passport....check the list...repack....tired yet! I've seen the Rothko, can I make the Francis Bacon exhibition.....I still want to see the Saatchi in Kings Road.....will they all still be here when I come back, will I come back , when will I be back.....I have rented my house out to Dustin and Jevin....Stephenson Street goes from home to homo....autistic to artistic....my whole life is stuffed into drawers....under the bed....the boys have more product than I have had my entire life and Jevin's blusher is so classy than my palette with the plastic missing and no mirror! My inner voice says LET GO ...one more last game of scrabble on Face Book with Shelley..got to finish the game of wordscraper with Tessa...how will I cope with 40000 emails....if Mandanapalle has no internet cafe and no ATM machine.....my inner voice says LET GO and go to bed! One more cigarette...I won't be able to smoke with all the enlightened beings....they say if you smoke you create a smoke screen around you and it takes longer to reach the light....I know switch to Marlboro lights, that will do it. Now who you kidding.....go to bed! Good night and god bless x

Time to go....

The time has come, Goodbye London hello India.....5 weeks of who knows where..I lie, I am headed for Mandanapalle in Andra Pradesh to visit Mother Meera...a remarkable avataar, who gives Darshan in silence, and whether it is her power or my belief I hope to let go of the things and move on to new horizons and new adventures. I have offered service, they are building an ashram and are looking for teachers, architects, gardeners. So do I fit the bill, an actress, an artist, a decorator, a sculptor .....a jack of all trades, I am sure I can become whatever they are looking for but most important I shall be myself!